“Mindfulness” and “Mindset”
About ten years ago, we started talking about “mindfulness” a lot in my workplace. You know–paying attention to how you feel when you’re engaged in certain behaviors, and being intentional about taking those moments to refocus, breathe, or do whatever else is needed to prevent you from being super stressed out. At least that’s how I remember the gist of what was presented to us through my employer’s Employee Health program. It’s good, and I’m not discounting the need for any of that.
But the last few years, I’ve become much more aware of the aspect of “mindset.” That is, how our thoughts and perceptions can affect our experience here on this earth and specifically how we approach our challenges. Whether or not we realize it, we can change our thoughts. And changing our thoughts can really affect how we view our challenges. It’s a topic that can go very deep if you want it to.
But for now, I just want to focus on one thought that has helped me in my efforts to improve my eating. I certainly haven’t perfected this approach, but I know that when I am intentional in applying it, things are much easier. And since we’re about to embark on the 21 Day Purification Program, it’s something brewing near the surface of my mind right now.
Let me set it up with a typical scenario related to the cleanse, or any effort to eat better: You’re in a social setting. Someone offers you something that is “off” your current plan. You may or may not be working hard to overcome cravings at that moment, and you may or may not really want what they offer you. You say something like “Man, yes I do want that but I’m doing this detox and sadly that’s not allowed,” with an expression of anguish. They might say something like “Wow, good for you!” But more likely, they may say something like “Are you suuure? It’s got your favorite X, Y, Z ingredient and there’s going to be tons left over!”
The Struggle is Real
Then comes that terrible moment of truth. Or really, the internal war. You have this short but intense struggle where you decide whether you stick to your plan or you “succumb” to the social pressure to indulge. For most of us, it’s a haaard battle to win unless you’ve really committed in advance to how you’re going to handle those types of situations.
So you either give in, enjoy whatever it is, probably feel some guilt, and tell yourself you’ll get right back on plan. Maybe you do or maybe you don’t. Either way, it’s mentally exhausting.
OR, you could change your thoughts and approach it like this: I’ve just been offered something I’m currently abstaining from in order to improve my health. Because I’m committed to myself, I can politely decline.
Guess what? There doesn’t have to be any drama. That can be it. You can just say “no, thanks” and move on with the conversation. You don’t have to explain or justify your reasons to anyone. In fact if you do, it may make them feel guilty at some level for eating something you’re considering “bad,” so naturally they might either try to get you to join them or convince you of your folly (at least in the typical setting). The more you try to explain why you’re “not allowed” something, the more drama builds up in your head and the harder it is to stick with your initial resolve.
The reality is that in this setting, you chose to start whatever program it is. And every moment, you are choosing to honor your commitment to yourself. The end. You don’t have to explain any of it. Your choice is valid no matter what.
Save the Drama
I’m trying to remember this in my efforts to be more consistent with gluten-free eating. A lot of times, whatever is being offered to me is a baked good–and I certainly have a sweet tooth. I don’t have to explain why I’m doing my best to be gluten free and how even though I don’t have an immediate problem, gluten does exacerbate my autoimmune condition. Most people don’t care anyway; they’re just trying to be friendly in one of the most socially acceptable ways we’ve established–through sharing food. Instead of all that, I can just say “no thank you” and redirect the conversation if needed.
And believe or not, I do know a couple of people who genuinely do not enjoy sweets, and they will decline them at any point based on personal preference alone. It’s really not a response we have to be afraid of!
So the next time you’re offered something that you’ve committed to avoid, consider changing your thoughts and eliminating the drama in your head. A simple “no thank you” with a quick redirection in the conversation is usually all that’s needed. You could also just say “I’m sorry, I just ate” or “I’m really not hungry, but thank you!”
And if you get pushback, remember, it’s up to you whether you want to minimize or maximize the drama. The more you “explain,” the harder it will be!
Save the drama for the challenges where it’s unavoidable, because there’s already enough of that. And then go make yourself a delicious, nutrient-filled chocolate smoothie and pat yourself on the back for keeping a commitment to yourself.
For a unique perspective on autoimmune healing, infertility, and faith, follow The Chiropractor’s Wife on Instagram @chirowifelife